Respect - Keep It Simple

When dealing with employees, RESPECT is right at the top of the list of “do’s.” Although much is written about encouraging, giving feedback to,  and formally communicating with employees,  I suggest that you keep it simple.  To  show respect a person need only recognize that others are due the same simple considerations they receive from friends and family—and then act accordingly.

Try these three simple steps to establish rapport based on respect:

1. Use your employee’s and co-worker’s names –as they prefer them.

We Americans have an annoying habit of using nicknames and ignoring formal or full names. Sometimes nicknames are abbreviations and other times they connote a judgment or opinion. In either case they may not be appropriate.

Example: Theodore James likes his name.  He was named after his favorite uncle, who went by “Theodore.”   When he interviewed for the job at XYZ, Inc.,  he immediately was called “Ted.”  Then, when he came to work everyone called him “Ted.”   No one asked him his preference;  it was easier to assume “Ted” was okay.  Nonetheless, shouldn’t Theodore be called by his full name if he wishes?  And why do some people take offense if they are expected to do so?

A name is extremely personal, and not using the preferred form implies very strongly that you simply don’t care. A name is a terrible thing to lose.  For instance, I have always liked to be called “Patricia,” not “Pat,” and certainly not “Patty.”  Want to be on my good side?   Want me to think you actually care about me?  Ask me how I prefer to be addressed, and then remember to use that preference.  I promise you: many people have strong preferences about their name and respond quite positively to those who respect that preference.

Simple solution: Develop the simple habit of using the “right” name. This will really gain “points” with your employees.

2. Keep your promises.

Quick promises often seem like an easy way to appease employees or co-workers. However, failed promises don’t appease anyone—they lead to disappointment and a lack of trust. “I promise I’ll look into it.”  (Then you get sidetracked and you forget to look into it.)

“I promise I’ll read this tonight and give you feedback tomorrow.” (You get home that night and life intervenes, so you don’t review it.)

“I’m hiring you now as a staff level employee, but we’re restructuring and there will be a supervisor position down the road.”  (Can you really predict the company future, the economy or even that person’s future performance?  You do realize that herein lays an implied promise,  right?  Might I borrow your Chrystal ball?)

Simple Solution: Keep your promises few and far between. Promise only that which you really can produce.  If you set an expectation,  always fulfill it or be prepared to offer big-time apologies.  Avoid time frames you may not be able to meet.  And last, but not least,  never,  never,  never,  promise actions just because they appear likely to occur in the future!

3.  Respond quickly to employee complaints.

When someone is angry or upset they want—and deserve— immediate attention. Putting them off indefinitely or making excuses allows time for the problem to grow and sends a message that the concern is of little consequence to you.

Simple Solution:  Immediately set a time, preferably within 24 hours, when you will give the issue your full attention. This initial meeting can be in person or over the phone.  It may mean having the person put their concerns in writing to organize their thoughts.  If you are absolutely not available right away,  then you might delegate someone else in authority to meet with the employee.   These actions let the employee know you do care about him/her and respect their feelings.

Prompt response insures that you will get the information while it is fresh.  If it involves other people their memories will be better, too. You will also be seen as someone who makes time for people, and not just tasks and deadlines.  Another important benefit of timely response is giving the employee an opportunity to vent.  Venting releases tension, makes it easier to get to the facts, and often wards off an even bigger explosion in future.

So: Respect is simple. Please note, however, that I did not say “easy.” Making these three behaviors a normal part of how you treat people will go a long way and will become easier with practice.  Moreover, it actually takes less time than not doing it.  You don’t have to deal with collateral damage.

Finally, now that we have looked rather carefully at respect let’s take it one step further. I  pledge that I will always try to respect your opinions.   In return, I ask that you respect others when you reply.   We can spend informative and enjoyable time together by remembering that we agree or disagree with ideas and not people.  Disagreeing need not make us disagreeable.

Until next time,

Patricia

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